Can we talk straight for just a minute? Mom guilt. It’s real, and it doesn’t fight fair. It will mess you up inside out if you believe it’s lie. So let’s talk how to beat the bully of mom guilt.
As you read these words I assume, like me, you LOVE your kids. You want to be a good mom that raises good humans and enjoy the journey of it all. You are also busy. So are they. If you work, it’s likely that in some regard you are doing that for them, too. Whether it’s to model following your dreams and living out purpose, or it’s to create a level of financial freedom so your kids can enjoy and participate in things that you want to give.
One of the reasons I started my business was a bit of all of the above. I wanted to fulfill my purpose and cultivate an income in a way that enabled me the time to create my life around what mattered most—my family. Over the past eight years as a business leader who continues to pursue my passions while being present with my Tribe, I have learned how to beat that nasty bully called mom guilt. That feeling of you are not enough, you aren’t doing enough, tack on all the holiday tasks and obligations and you will never be enough. Ya, that bully.
Here’s a few things that have helped me beat the bully:
1. I include my family in what I’m doing. I try to use them according to their gifts and natural desires so the work can be meaningful to them. Sometimes it looks like setting up for an event, serving at an event or cleaning up after. I’ve even included them in LIVE videos and other content resources, and I often invite their feedback.
2. I keep a schedule. Everybody’s activities and my work schedule going into the family calendar. This makes everyone a priority and it eliminates too much overlap and double booking. I want to be fully present where I can and when it’s time for my work they are fully aware. This alleviates anyone’s feelings of being a “bother.”
3. I affirm their support. During seasons of deadlines or fuller work schedules I communicate a timeline. I bring them in on the vision of why I’m making a push toward the goal I am working to achieve. When the time is up and the goals are reached or the schedule is clear, we celebrate together because I didn’t do this on my own. Everyone’s needed for anyone to win as a family.
Bonus tip for the Holiday season: it’s okay to NOT do it all. We have selected a few activities that are non-negotiable traditions and experiences that are a must, and then the others we decide to be open handed with. As a party of six with very active social lives and rich with extracurriculars, there is no way we can attend everything and remain sane. So we have sat over dinner with toes under the table and calendared out top priorities that matter most, and then the rest will fall where they may.
Putting these few things in place to beat the bully of mom guilt and build my business around my life and not the other way around has really helped. Everyone feels seen, I feel heard and the mission is known.
If you would like support and direction on creating your family on a core set of values specific to your dreams and needs check out my TRIBE course and build your family on what matters most-- available to you NOW.