There is a narrative that plays in my head thats says I am only loved for what I do. You want to be close to me because of what I provide for you—but you don’t really love me for me. You just want what I can do for you.
I’ve been hurt before. I’ve felt the sting of betrayal. I’ve given my best in friendship only to be discarded as not good enough. To be known and not loved is a deep fear. My knee jerk response is to not risk vulnerability again. Put my guard up. Just keep performing. Give you what you want. And in all that, feel alone and terribly unworthy.
But that is not God’s plan for me. It’s not the story He has written for any of us.
You will need to create boundaries. This is a hard part of my story. You may lose some people. But they are not the right people. And this will make room for those who are the right people and create margin for the mission God has purposed you for. I have been reaping the rewards of this difficult decision all week long as I have relished in the joy of rich friendship with the right people.
Don’t shrink back because of the lies. Hope rises and healing comes in the form of community. But you cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. Let go. Move on. And as hard as it can be—flip the script inside your head and take the risk—YOU ARE WORTHY💗.