Has 2020 thrown a curveball in your compatibility with your spouse? Are the external circumstances creating intense pressure in your marriage?
"Most marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes better comes after the worse." ~ Anonymous
My husband, Marcus and I had a dark season hit us hard a few years ago. This drove us to our knees desperate to stay married.
Four things that helped us get better after worse:
1. We surrendered.
That beginning posture started with a yielding to God and boldly confessing we needed help. That cry led us to seek out Godly counselors who guided us individually through a rich road of personal awareness and healing. This was a new step and unknown for my husband. And an unguarded one for me.
2. We submitted.
Yes, to each other. But mostly to the process. We committed to grow through that which we were going through. We opened our hearts and minds setting our egos and old ways aside This allowed God to do something new. He was making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands.
3. We were surrounded.
We both found our people. He got honest with a couple of dudes. And I learned vulnerability with a small crew of girls. This was just being authentic about where we were and where we wanted to be. It was sharing our burden so they could carry the load as Christ always intended. In those circles we found hope. Felt healing and discovered new meaning in the world community of faith.
4. We shared.
This required professional help. We started to share in our journals. Seems simple, but the exercise of writing through emotions, doubts, rants and dreams was therapy in itself. It allowed us to sit in, and work through our troubles. This was actually new for both of us. We made the commitment to openly communicate about our personal discoveries, fears, past pains and future. We have always talked a lot. But the new depth of unearthing personally led to a new conversation that led to incredible intimacy. Like, better than ever.
The harder season gave me a softer heart. The long suffering gave me a more loving heart. My roots grew deeper and my love for Marcus is much stronger. It's better after worse.
The disruption of 2020 is devastating marriages. It's why I am dedicating time in my upcoming Significant Life group to this very topic. There are still spots left for you to join. If we change the world, but lose our homes what is it all even worth? If you want to connect and create a better marriage through this season, message me. My group might be just want you need in your life right now. There can be BETTER AFTER WORSE!