I'm taking a bit of a "socials" break. My soul just needs a rest. A little break from all the noise that sometimes fills my heart and head as I scroll the feeds of Facebook and troll the pix on Instagram. I don't anticipate a long break. I actually enjoy your stories. And I like to share mine. I appreciate the privileges of serving in our modern world. This is not about the "other."
My problem with "socials" Is me.
As a health coach, I'm real familiar with detox. It’s a time when one abstains from (or rids the body of) toxic, unhealthy elements. Sometimes your physical body needs a reset and a break from certain ingredients, foods or habits. That's not to say those things are unhealthy altogether. They just aren't good for you, not now. Some days you need to run, and I need to rest. I ran yesterday. Today is your turn. And so it is with my break from socials. I'm not saying they are sick. I'm simply saying that my heart needs a cleanse.
My story is important.
So is yours. And right now mine is taking a deep dive into my faith, my passions and my callings. This is a both tearing down and creating. It is hard and holy. It's challenging and life-changing. It's uncertain and freeing. My current status is of one God--an attempt at being instead of doing. I don't want to numb through socials. You know, the habitual scrolling I do that masquerades as meaningful. I know I’m only one among billions, but I find myself mindlessly thumbing through my news feed. And unintentionally, I have allowed you, Facebook or Instagram, to consume my meaning and my mind one too many times.
I don't want to miss this. The unraveling is not fun. But I also value growth which often comes through discomfort. I don't want to avoid that. Practicing silence is good for anyone. I am a type three on the Enneagram which makes it essential for me since I place such a high value on production and activity. I have to make room for the hard questions. What do I define as success? Not historic calling or previous achievements. Not the cultural norms or expectations. What are my current values and dreams? Why am I thoughtlessly scrolling? Why does your post make me feel that way? Who determines my best life? Why can't I just rest? Does life have to be all about the MORE?
Logging off will disable escape and enable me to wrestle with my feelings fully. I have to sit with God on these things. With no input from the rest of the virtual world. There, in the puddle of beautifully hard things, I will find hope. Life is good and it is bad. Both. Often at the same time.
As I replace the time I usually invest online I will shift to God's word. I will be present in the moment allowing the memories to be seared in my heart instead of making it in on my feed. I will experience emotions completely by writing in my journal instead of constructing a post. I will stare down the disappointments, doubts and dreams in my heart by taking a good look in the mirror instead of sharing with you for approval, advice or affirmation.
Life can seem out of our control.
But I actually have tremendous power–even though I often feel powerless. When life is good, I can thank God and celebrate. When life is bad, I thank God and grow. It’s up to me to recognize it’s the challenge that molds me the most. The hardest seasons have brought about the most beautiful and bountiful harvests.Trying to escape the wrestling in the soul is the poorest of solutions. I choose to embrace it. Now, I actually sit in anticipation of how amazing this season is making me. What creation, what relationship, what passions and purposes, and what joy will be on the other side? For it is He who holds my status in His hands–and He is updating me day by day.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
I'm owning the constant evolution of my story. May you own yours. I've got to show up for this one. I want to be present, no matter the outcomes or what comes undone. I'm pursuing the work of God in this life He has given me. And I'm really excited to live in the moment with my husband, my kids and the people next to me in this break from "socials." No, "hang on," "one minute," "is this okay to post?" The reality of my virtual reality remains: the problem with socials (right now), is me.