If you are reading this it is likely because you are a woman who loves her kids deeply AND has dreams beyond her home. I want to share three things that have led me from survival to success to significance. Many years ago I made the decision to do big things and make a difference. But I didn’t want the people “out there” to think I was great and admire me more than the people “in here.” Those people would come and go. The family lasts forever. My children are now 11, 13, 15 and 17, and I am here to tell you, if you amplify your family your business will flourish.
It is often the stress in our personal life that makes us less effective at our work. Worrying about family conflicts makes it more difficult to focus on workplace tasks and takes away that slight edge. And sometimes we get so wrapped up in achieving that we forget the reason we are working in the first place. I have found a key to success as a mom who also 'bosses', is to amplify (turn up the volume, boost, step up) your family and your business will flourish. Here are three things that have helped me as I have followed my passions and fulfilled dreams in every season of motherhood.
1. Create core values
If the value is driving you— you will create success based on your terms. In our home we value GROWTH: giving our best and stretching into who GOD created us to be. Sometimes the answer to "Did I win?" is "No." When we ask,"Did I grow?" if the answer is "Yes," that’s a win, and the end goal is coming. Values will keep you connected to the real joy in life that comes from enjoying your family. Your season and reason is different than that mom you see over there. The one crushing her goals and seemingly killing it. My question for you, based on what matters most for you in your moment is, "Can you be okay with that?" Amplify your family and your business will flourish.
2. Create space between business and family.
Mulit-tasking equals mediocre. There was a time I thought I could cook dinner, while assisting my kiddo with homework, all while on a call with a one to one client. I thought I was really being a superwoman. I have since learned I wasn't really being present for life and the people in it. The truth about presence is you must release control. You engage in what's in front of you and what's ahead, behind, or even in your peripheral must wait. That will actually cultivate JOY. There is a direct connection between our desire to control and the joy we actually have. And here's the thing that you can release too--your kids don’t need all your hours, they just need a moment. They just need to know they matter. Conflict in business and family usually occurs because people don’t feel prioritized. Regardless of your season in motherhood, it's not easier. I mean, sure, I am no longer on the floor changing diapers, and my kids are more independent to dress and feed themselves. But, a new level of need arises where the conversations go beyond learning their colors, and the level of emotional presence and awareness to talk to my teenager requires a shift. It's not about making it easier or blaming the season you're in and reacting to it. It's about creating space between business and family, flexing into what's right for you right now and creating a new rhythm so you can dance in it.
Be honest about your expectations--with EVERYONE. Whoever lives in your home, talk to them. Tell them what you are pursuing. Tell them why. Tell them what you think you need from them. Tell them what you want. And then, release the rest. I want you to know that no matter what age and stage of kids you are raising while chasing after your dreams--you can do a lot! What’s in your heart to do is supposed to be done, and you will have the GRACE for it. GRACE is the supernatural ability to do what you cannot do on your own. I often look back on the year I wrote my first book. My kids were 1, 3, 4 and 6. I say, "how did I do that?" I had the grace. Somedays I look at what I am creating now and wonder, "woah how do I have time to juggle this?" It's called grace. It's God's gift to us as we put first things first and everything is added after that.
If you're looking for ways to build your family's core values and vision, check out my free resource here.