Sitting in stillness has never been my strength. If I’m honest, I considered slowing down was for lazy people. As a women of faith I’m not sure how I rationalized ignoring the command of Psalm 46:10.
“Surrender your anxiety. Be still and realize that I am God. I am God above all the nations, and I am exalted throughout the whole earth.”
Maybe God just wants me to take a quick pause. You know, a nod or an acknowledgement that He is in it with me. I generally accepted this passage as a pep talk to my soul. For me, the sweet smell of success, life on the go, “make it happen” kind of living worked. Especially when your biggest fear is being worthless. I preferred to manage my feelings, not feel them.
It can be easy to numb, escape, suck it up, grind it out. It’s actually less complex to keep running and gunning and take on more. Instant gratification and bypassing your feeling is complicated but simple. And I am here to confess—it is a way of my past. Being secure in some recent days of silence shows me more about what this passage really means. I’ve made the decision to feel my feelings, not just manage them.
Psalm 46:10 is more than a pep talk, it’s a way of life. Stop striving—stop fighting—relax, put your hands down and palms up. You cannot manufacture the outcomes in your life or the lives of others. You can try. And it might even work for a bit. Until it doesn’t. This verse is a command to stop the futile effort in dealing with things that are actually God’s domain.
I’ve decided to feel my feelings in the stillness and presence of God. I’m no longer just managing them—try as I may, wish as I might--I do not have that kind of control.
This way of living has revealed a keen understanding of my worthiness. I have resolve in the assurance I am loved not based on my performance, but on His. Joy can be found in the middle of sorrow when we understand our value is not a reflection of what we do. It declares confidence in Christ. In Him we have identity DISconnected from striving or hustle but from wholeness that has come from a commitment to the deep heart work of feeling feelings instead of managing them.
I don’t know your path today. I don’t know what load or whose you might be carrying. But I encourage you to stop. If only for a moment. Put your head down out of the noise and settle your heart in stillness with Jesus. Confidence will rise when you aren’t off to achieve another thing in the attempt to deny or avoid the real thing going on. Hope will stand when you can sit in the hard moments without worrying if you are enough and fearing there’s something out there and you are missing out on. All that you need in this moment is near. It is in the presence of Jesus available to you at this moment when you are still and know that He is God.
Feeling your feelings instead of managing them, hiding them, bullying through them or denying them is actually what it means to live truly FREE.